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Empty bed syndrome

Relaxing at night with my Pomegranite-Sandlewood candles burning. My musk-scented incense filling the room and my Psyche music playing lightly from the darkened computer. Quite and serene. Having to think of nothing but the lyrics of the music as you lie there with a face mask on watching the candles flicker across the room. You’re not sleeping. You are just becoming one with yourself. One with the bed. I have a leather journal that I often scratch love letters and witty little poetry in and it lies next to my bed. Nothing is nicer than writing in bed by candle light. The thing is that this may be tonight but most nights consist of sitting on the internet, playing music from you tube and putting you’re Ichat status on invisible so people think you are peacefully sleeping, meanwhile you are wide awake and wishing you were sleeping or talking to people.
Empty Bed Syndrome is the reality of single life. It’s that feeling you get when you get into bed and you miss the comfort of having someone in bed with you. It’s the thing that keeps you awake and miserable. See because you are single and rather than embracing the big bed sleeping however you want, you long for what you can’t have. Someone sleeping in the bed with you. You even wish for the man’s twin bed that you last slept in. You long for the spooning despite the fact that you wanted to kick them off the bed when they were there. I mean the company of a lover in the night is wonderful, it’s the warmness of your bodies touching, sometimes it’s even holding hands but lets be real about it, it’s snoring, a fight over the blankets and the bathroom light being on all night. But that’s what we want!?
We love to give up the quiet, silk sheets of our own bedroom for some unwashed man’s bed. And you may not admit it but I doubt you’re man washes his sheets as often as you do. Think about all that dirt. But anyway, the point is or even better, the question is, “Is there a way for us to embrace being alone at night? Or will we always be haunted with the feelings of the past surrounding us while we go to sleep?” I don’t mean just thoughts of the past, I mean the body our bodies long for. It’s like you can’t escape it. You can feel the breeze that their body isn’t there to cover you from. You long to put your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as you fall asleep. It’s all of that. And all you want is to wake up in the morning with a man lying in your bed. Well it’s not going to happen tonight. It’s already 3:37 am and no man is popping up. So I’m going to blow out my candles. Lower my Psyche music, let the incense burn out and spread my arms and legs wide out and enjoy my bed. We can ask for someone tomorrow night!

Daily Prctice part deux

Ok so like I said in my last post, I have been writing in a journal everynight. I am thinking of postng one of my entries per week on here, but some of them are private as it is a journal. Was this meant to be for us or so the goup coud see what we were up to?... If it was the latter than I'd say I should change my daily practice. We'll see.

I actually find my practiceto be extremely healthy and helpful. Not only do I feel more disciplined but I feel more relaxed. Sometimes all you need is to vent nd what better way then to wrie in a journal. I have to say uch of my venting turns into poetry, vignettes or short stories. I think it might be a way in which I cope, my removing myself from a situation and then looking at it from afar. I don' know why but I know it makes me feel better.

Some people have phones alarms etc. to tell them when to dthe practice but I just do it right before I go to bed. I literally cannot sleep unless I do it. I put on some indie music and write away. Some nights only one page and others up to 10. It really depends on my mood.

I'm going to post one of the entries pretty soon so you guys can check it out!